{"id":479,"date":"2020-09-20T01:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-09-20T05:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/poetry.newspaperhistory.com\/?p=479"},"modified":"2020-09-20T01:00:00","modified_gmt":"2020-09-20T05:00:00","slug":"the-poor-tool","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/the-poor-tool\/","title":{"rendered":"The Poor Tool"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<pre class=\"wp-block-verse\"><em>From <a href=\"https:\/\/chroniclingamerica.loc.gov\/lccn\/sn88085187\/1912-09-20\/ed-1\/seq-4\/\">The Tacoma Times, September 20, 1912<\/a>.\nBy Berton Braley.<\/em>\n \n\n Of all of the nuisances known unto man\n \u00a0 Since old Doctor Noah saw land,\n The worst it has been my misfortune to scan\n \u00a0 Is always right near to my hand;\n And though I have tried it again and again,\n \u00a0 I never shall care for the postoffice pen.\n \n It\u2019s sticky and clotted and gummy and old,\n \u00a0 It\u2019s cluttered with shavings and hair;\n In damp, muggy weather it\u2019s covered with mould,\n \u00a0 And though you may handle with care,\n You\u2019ll find, when you\u2019re through, that your fingers \u2014 all ten\n \u00a0 Are blackened with ink from the postoffice pen.\n \n It scratches and sputters and stutters in spots,\n \u00a0 It spatters your cuffs and your sleeve;\n It tears through the paper, it smudges and blots,\n \u00a0 And a trail of distress it will leave;\n For never in all of humanity\u2019s ken\n \u00a0Could anyone WRITE with a postoffice pen.<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p> Of all of the nuisances known unto man<br \/>\n   Since old Doctor Noah saw land,<br \/>\n The worst it has been my misfortune to scan<br \/>\n   Is always right near to my hand;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,19],"tags":[66],"class_list":["post-479","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-newspapers","category-the-tacoma-times","tag-berton-braley"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/479","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=479"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/479\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=479"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=479"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=479"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}