{"id":9237,"date":"2023-03-24T01:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-03-24T05:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newspaperhistory.com\/?p=9237"},"modified":"2023-03-24T01:00:00","modified_gmt":"2023-03-24T05:00:00","slug":"zeke-perkins-new-machine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/zeke-perkins-new-machine\/","title":{"rendered":"Zeke Perkins\u2019 New Machine"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><em>From the <a href=\"https:\/\/chroniclingamerica.loc.gov\/lccn\/sn92053934\/1915-03-24\/ed-1\/seq-4\/\">Rock Island Argus, March 24, 1915<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Old Zeke Perkins sold his hogs the other day,<br\/>And the gosh-durned fool threw his money right away.<br\/>Rode into town sitting right on a board,<br\/>And he came ridin\u2019 home in a darned little Ford.<br\/>When he came to the house and got to the gate,<br\/>He shut down the throttle and he put on the brake,<br\/>He grabbed for the reins, got the throttle instead,<br\/>And the gol darned Ford kept a chugging ahead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Old Zeke Perkins bought an automobile,<br\/>Old Zeke Perkins\u2019 whiskers were red.<br\/>Old Zeke Perkins lost the combination<br\/>And the darn little Ford kept chugging right ahead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Zeke jerked on the levers and he turned off the gas,<br\/>He kicked at the pedals and he broke out the glass,<br\/>He cut all the wires, and he pulled off the top,<br\/>But the gosh darned Ford it just wouldn\u2019t stop.<br\/>He pulled out his knife and he smiled so serene,<br\/>Cut a hole in the tank, drained out the gasoline.<br\/>He pulled out his gun, shot the tires full of lead,<br\/>But the gol darned Ford kept chugging right ahead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Went right through the fence and up through the lane;<br\/>Mirandy saw him coming and she like to went insane,<br\/>She ran out ahead, then she stopped to see,<br\/>And the Ford struck her squarely where the bustle ought to be.<br\/>She reached out her arm as she went in the air,<br\/>Just as Zeke went by she grabbed him by the hair;<br\/>She bounced on the seat, landed down in the bed,<br\/>And the gol darned Ford kept chugging right ahead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n<p>He steered for the shed, but just missed the hole,<br\/>Struck an old pig and you ought to see it roll,<br\/>Out through the yard then they landed in a heap,<br\/>In a big muddy pool \u2018bout six feet deep.<br\/>Zeke grabbed Mirandy and waded for the shore;<br\/>He was glad that it stopped and wouldn\u2019t go no more.<br\/>He pricked up his ears then he looked back and said,<br\/>\u201cWhy, the gol darned Ford is chugging right ahead.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>From the Rock Island Argus, March 24, 1915. Old Zeke Perkins sold his hogs the other day,And the gosh-durned fool threw his money right away.Rode into town sitting right on a board,And he came ridin\u2019 home in a darned little Ford.When he came to the house and got to the gate,He shut down the throttle [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9237","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-newspapers","category-rock-island-argus"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9237","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9237"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9237\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9237"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9237"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9237"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}