{"id":9430,"date":"2023-07-03T01:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-07-03T05:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newspaperhistory.com\/?p=9430"},"modified":"2023-07-03T01:00:00","modified_gmt":"2023-07-03T05:00:00","slug":"the-golf-widows-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/the-golf-widows-divorce\/","title":{"rendered":"The Golf Widow\u2019s Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

From the New York Tribune, July 3, 1915<\/a>. By Grantland Rice.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A weary female stood in court before a judge quite grim;
And looking up with abject mien she turned and spoke to him;
\u201cYour honor\u201d\u2014said she with a voice that bordered on a sigh\u2014
\u201cI\u2019d like to get a quick divorce\u201d\u2014and tears stood in her eye;
The Judge looked down upon her just a moment ere he said
\u201cWhat has your husband done that you are sorry that you wed?
Can it be that he beats you\u2014or holds out half his pay?\u201d
Whereat the female wept again and these sad words did say\u2014<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe only talks of stymies and of dormies\u2014
He only talks of \u2018hooks\u2019 that lost a bet;
He plays his golf all day
And at night he raves away
Of putts he orter had\u2014but didn\u2019t get;
He says he orter had a sixty-seven\u2014
But the hundred that he took was far from right\u2014
I don\u2019t care if he should play
This here golluf every day
If he wouldn\u2019t play it over every night.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The stern judge thought a moment with a frown upon his face\u2014
\u201cI hate divorces,\u201d he replied, \u201cbut not in this here case;
I know the gunman\u2019s often wrong\u2014and yet he has his side;
And while I sometimes jug a thief\u2014I often let him slide;
But there are limits to all crime\u2014and one or two so raw
That fitting punishment is yet beyond the printed law\u2014\u201d
But when he murmured \u201ctwenty years\u201d\u2014the golfer\u2019s hair turned gray
And now the wife is kinder sad that these words she did say.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A weary female stood in court before a judge quite grim;
\nAnd looking up with abject mien she turned and spoke to him;
\n\u201cYour honor\u201d\u2014said she with a voice that bordered on a sigh\u2014
\n\u201cI\u2019d like to get a quick divorce\u201d\u2014and tears stood in her eye;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,3],"tags":[144],"class_list":["post-9430","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-new-york-tribune","category-newspapers","tag-grantland-rice"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9430","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9430"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9430\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9430"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9430"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/desperaudio.com\/newspaperpoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9430"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}